Derrell Alexander Lindsay
April 2, 1920 - April 3, 2009
I'm writting this blog for "me," but I'm sure my children will find it interesting, if no one else. I'd like to briefly go over the events of the past few weeks, and then also remember some of the things that I used to do with my dad.
On April 1, 2009, Ron and I drove to Pendleton and stayed with my folks for the night, as we were on our way down to Salt Lake City to attend the General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We had good seating tickets and were going to meet up with two of Ron's old mission companions and their wives. That Wednesday evening, April 1, we took my mom and dad out to dinner to pizza, as the next day was my dad's 89th birthday; so this was a birthday celebration. We had a great time together, and enjoyed dinner very much. Ron asked dad at that time if he thought that he would live to reach 90 years, and dad replied that he thought he would, as he was feeling pretty good with no major problems.
Ron and I immediately got showered and dressed and started the long 10 hour journey back to Pendleton. It was not a time for mom to be alone. But she wasn't. Liz and Dan Leonard of Pendleton came to the hospital to be with her, and then Liz and another friend Theresa Edwards, stayed with mom the entire day, until Ron and I got there that evening. I am so thankful and appreciative for such sweet women as Liz and Theresa, who were so willing to drop everything and be there for my mom. The entire ward (our church's unit in that area) was so supportive and were spontaneous to offer help. We woke one morning to someone mowing the lawn, and later in the day had someone bring over a ham. The next day the Bishop and his wife came a pruned mom's peach and apricot trees. The list of service and kindness could go on and on. The love and support that we felt as a family, was overwhelming.
As I got to Pendleton I learned more of the details of dad's death. As I stated earlier, he was using his nebulizer as I left for SLC. It seemed that on that day, his 89th birthday, he had a pretty bad asthma attack, but he got over it was seemed to enjoy the day. Shortly after midnight, Friday April 3rd, mom woke up to hear dad coughing and gasping for air in the bathroom. He tried using his nebulizer twice, and also his inhalers, which didn't seem to help at all. So mom told him that she was going to take him to the hospital for oxygen. He walked out to the car, and they sped away. The hospital is less than 4 or 5 minutes from their house. He passed out before they got there, and never came to. Mom was shocked.....he had always pulled through, even through much worse problems. After talking about it, we all feel that it was just his appointed time to go. It always broke my heart to see him gasping for air.....now he doesn't have to.
Pallbearers
Front left to rear: Richard Lindsay (my cousin)
Shawn Lindsay (my cousin)
Rick Sutherland (my cousin)
Front right to rear: Will Thomas (my son-in-law)
Michael Southworth (my son)
Stephen Southworth (my son)
We watched General Conference on television, and then on Monday Ron drove back to Camano Island. I stayed with mom and we started making arrangements for the funeral, and starting preparing to get all of dad's affairs in order. All of our children were there by Friday, and Ron, Michael, Stephen and our son-in-law Will Thomas, went down to the funeral home and dressed dad in his temple robes. Stephen made the comment that "this was who grandpa really was.....one who loved serving in the temple." It was a special experience for all of them. The funeral was on Saturday, April 11th, in Pendleton, Oregon. It was a wonderful service. Vern Lindsay, dad's youngest living brother, gave the euology. He said that because of giving the euology, he learned things about Derrell that he hadn't known. Jenni and I played a violin duet, "I Need Thee Every Hour." I usually get nervous playing the violin, but I wasn't at all this time. I think it was because this time, I was playing for my dad. Then Ron spoke, and gave a wonderful talk on the doctrines of the gospel and more specifically, the resurrection. Then Vern's wife, Sue Lindsay sang a beautiful song called "In My Father's House Are Many Mansions." Then Dan Leonard, counselor in the Walla Walla Stake Presidency spoke.....telling some wonderful stories about dad. The Stake President, Kelly Brown, and the Bishop of the Pendleton First Ward, Dennis Wilson also made comments. There was such a sweet and loving spirit there, it was hard not to break down and cry in front of everyone.
We had a police escort out of town, which was a very dignified and solemn procession. We got to the cemetery, The Skyview Memorial Park, just out of town, where my uncle Ed Cook, dedicated the grave. A military honor guard came and played "Taps" and gave mom a US flag that was drapped over dad's coffin. It was such a moving ceremony......I don't know how anyone can not be proud and grateful to live in the wonderful country of the United States.
My cousin, Sandi (Lindsay) Joseph, pulled me aside, and told me that her dad, my Uncle Ed who was in a nursing home for Alzheimer's, had taken a nosedive, healthwise, just two days after my dad had died. He had stopped eating, stopped talking, wouldn't even get out of bed. It was almost like he instinctively knew my dad had died, and so Ed was in mourning. Just a couple of days after Sandi told me this, Uncle Ed too passed away. As the family gathered together again for another funeral for one of the Lindsay boys, my cousins and I all feel that my dad came back to Ed, and said in essence: "Ed, you aren't doing any good here anymore, it's time to come home and get some work done." So he went home.
My Family
(standing) Michael, wife Emmy, Will Thomas with grandson Preston, daughter Jenni, sons Stephen and Shaun, husband Ron
(seated) Carolyn, Thelma Lindsay (mother) Leslie Ann Arbogast (sister)
(floor) grandchildren Elena, Alexander and James
There are so many good times to remember, and wonderful things that I'd like to share, but I know I don't have room or time to do any of that. I would like to share a few memories and photos of my dad, so that my children and grandchildren can remember the type of person that he was, and is, for he is just in another place from us right now. I know that we can be together again as a family, because "Families Are Forever."
1 comment:
Thanks for writing all of that Mom. I did mostly a photo blog of the funeral and didn't write down too many details. I've been meaning to write in my journal for weeks now and it never seems to get done, so thanks for writing this.
I sure loved Grandpa and he was very important to me. I feel selfish saying this but I feel like we were closer to Grandpa than most other grandkids are to their grandpas. I'm sure there are others like that, but I sure don't see it often. He was such a great example to all of us, and I will really miss his teasing sense of humor. I will always remember the word spizerinctum. Yes it does start with an s, even though Grandpa always pronounced it with a "p". Haha.
I still forget sometimes that he passed away, and when I think about Pendleton I just think of "Grandma and Grandpa" like he is still alive and there. Sometimes i forget that the whole funeral thing happened and I just think he is still there and if we walked through their front door I would see him sitting on his big oversized plaid chair reading the scriptures or the newspaper, wearing a plaid collared shirt with a cartigan sweater and khaki pants and loafers.
I love yoU!
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